Get a $20 gift card from Whole Foods

Best value I ever got from Whole Foods

Every grocery store's price labels include a unit price. For example, a 5 lb bag of King Arthur brand Unbleached White Flour for $4.99 comes to "$.06 per oz". I figured it was for our benefit. Helps to know whether we're getting a good value, and we can comparison shop. I started paying attention to unit prices in February. I got our family's monthly grocery bill to reduce by 25%. I'll detail how this works in a future post.

Meanwhile, my new habit of noting prices got me in trouble at Whole Foods today. I'm no fan of Whole Foods, and I'm convinced it's part of our Culture of Excess. I balk at paying a premium for organic just because it's organic whether or not it's worth it. But Christina wants organic rice cereal from Whole Foods for Cat Tien. For Cat, I'm willing set aside my prejudices.

It turned out that Whole Foods' organic brand was cheaper than the Gerber organic at our usual supermarket by $.02 an oz. Not bad. Maybe I hadn't given Whole Foods a chance. I got inspired, and decided to see what other good values I'd been missing. Ooh! The Gunter's honey's cheaper here than at Shopper's, so's the organic strawberry preserves.

In doing due diligence by comparing the price of King Arthur brand flour to Whole Foods' 365 brand flour, I wrote down the price in my notepad. A stern voice came from behind me,

"Can I help you? Are you writing down prices?"

The culprit: The "Elephant Gun" for Big Value hunters.

Should'a been more discrete, I guess.

I'd been "caught" by the store manager.

"You can't do that."

"What?"

"I can't let you do that."

Joking?

"I can't write down a price? I'm trying to figure out the best value for my family."

No joke.

"It's our policy."

I showed him a picture of Cat hoping to get him back to his senses. Make him realize that he's applying a policy not meant for customers, especially those who have babies and families, and budgets.

I'll do anything for this baby. Even shop at Whole Foods!

But he stuck to his stance. "Look, I feel for you, but it's store policy. I can't let you leave with those prices."

What the *!@#... "Fine! I won't be coming back to Whole Foods. Plus you're not getting this piece of paper. It's got other notes on it besides the price of King Arthur flour."

Bactracking: "Well, we wouldn't want you to not come back. People from the Harris Teeter have come over here to snoop around, and get our prices."

"That's crazy! How is it that your competitors wouldn't know your prices. Are they a secret? Can't you just look on the internet? What are you gonna do? Arrest people!?"

"I mean, we've asked people to leave, and if they don't we'll call the police. Look, go ahead and keep your sheet of paper. But please don't write anything down while you're in the store, or take photos. I'm sorry if I offended you. We don't want to lose you as a customer. We're really trying to get our prices down."

"The irony is that I was thinking, 'I should buy cereal here because it's cheaper,' since I NOTED THE PRICE. Otherwise, I would have fallen back on my usual assumption that you guys are out to extort my money. If you're not going to let people take notes of your prices, how do you expect them to know that you're lowering prices to get their business?"

"Well, word-of-mouth."

Not much more to say after that. He gave me the number of the regional manager so I could complain to someone higher up. Then he gave me a $20 gift certificate to make peace.

Word-of-mouth: Whole Foods has some things worth buying. I know that because I WROTE down the prices and compared them with other stores'.

But, as I've always suspected, Whole Foods' business model is to get us to pay a premium for 'Lifestyle' membership, and squeeze a profit out of our ignorance: "No need to reflect on your purchase, just trust us."

They're in such dire straits that their store managers have been directed to leave no sliver of self-deluded business edge unprotected, even if it alienates customers.

Oh, and if you want to get your own $20 gift card, feel free to use the above script. :)

"#2. Satisfying and Delighting our customers" no less.